Tuesday, 23 December 2008

This link is an environment for identifying the most useable information available in a quest for understanding the current situation, and identifying what is necessary to change/ why it is necessary to change/ and what can we do, to protect ourselves and life on this planet.

Evidence is the state of knowledge and understanding, from which comes the presentation of wisdom, and a decision that will influence your life. There is nothing of mass hypnosis in my work, to deliver this message of change to you. There is nothing in my work, that expects anything from you/ apart from the constant behaviors that are proven in history, and the choice these do represent for women. Therefore I add what is simply necessary to assert: I have my own life to contend with, YOU must contend with yours. If you fail to accept that truth must lead now, respect must determine your ways: no more lies/ or, this very earth will die I am not your savior, leader, or enemy. Simply a messenger, delivering with honesty your need for change. But understand this: science is preparing experiments that will change your world within a few months, they will be complete. Either you will stop them, or millions if not all will die. Organize, talk, pray, do whatever YOU can do/ THIS WORLD, needs you.

As this has become “something of a diary” included within the simple truth, that time is running out for life on earth. I have concluded, it is simpler to add a diary rather than incorporate the strange reality that my life has become. Whether you are interested, is entirely up to you, as I simply don’t care.
As anyone who has read any amount of the information generated for you knows/ this all began with reading Revelation 12 three and a half years ago. The beginning is at http://www.complexdestiny.info if you look. The reality continues to this day.

In that regard, it is of interest to me, that these past 3+ years have taught me more about women than I cared to know as a man. Not that I wasn’t interested in women, just didn’t believe I needed to know: I am a man/ they are women, and we are not the same, thereby it is unnecessary for me to know. That however, if not proven wrong for men in general/ has certainly been proven wrong for me: I now need to know. Because the spiritual woman inside has decided it shall be so. And she has been effective enough to remove “sufficient quantities” of what is male in me/ that I now believe my life is governed more by what is female in me/ than what is male in me. A very strange journey/ existence in many ways. Not all bad/ just very different. In case you are wondering, “the spiritual world” never teaches “by intellectual means/ its all lessons in reality”. And my reality is a mixed up affair, in regards to changes being made.

One of the things I have come to realize lately, is the shoulder damage on me/ MUST be very similar to a woman living with “a mean man”. For the last 9 months or so, the slightest wrong move, and the pain can be plain mean to me. Although life is fairly normal, you can’t tell: unless I forget. The only question here is how to establish a safety net for women who find themselves with “mean men”. The only true answer is a safe haven for women to find shelter within/ and the opportunity for work, so that they can support themselves, and potentially their children. Not enough is being done for battered women/ not enough concern is generated by women in the real world. The fundamental cradle necessary to provide this kind of support is within a larger community of women, so that there are sufficient eyes, ears, and strength to contend with men as necessary. That functionally would be a description as follows: in the center of town [because these are area’s of easy access, largely abandoned by big money, and can provide dense community living space: as you grow block by block, wall it off, so that you control the inner area’s effectively.... creating the only way in “to be with women, is by our rules”. This WILL become more and more important as society changes do to stress and instability in men: their world is ending/ because there are NO new places, NO new resources, to ravage and destroy.] This should be a “ business district for women only”. These businesses and shelters should then house only women/ so that “a few more women” will not even be noticed/ but having areas where men are not allowed. Its not the end of marriage/ its simply a place where single women live. The more women you have, the easier it is to control the area. One of the business models that would then exist: is entertainment. You control what and how/ because, men will go wherever the women are to be found. With video cameras and other women to help you watch, NO woman gets drugged, NO woman gets “removed against their will”/ etc. That means, if as women you choose to make men come to you/ they will come. Other business is also necessary as you desire.

I have also come to realize that, what is mean is mean/ what is hate is hate; and the reality of lost teeth has clearly been experienced by many women over history, as men demand to be “serviced” and come to realize how vulnerable they are because of teeth. Hate will rape/ violence will take out teeth. To ensure, can’t happen “to me”. It is a horrible thought to recognize this has happened to women/ but in a world that is free to choose hate; some do. So the question is violence; the answer is a separation of those who love, from those who hate. It is not hard to find hate. Therefore it is not hard to identify and understand the potential and possibilities of a world that lives without hate, or its violence. Love and hate are enemies/ they do not live together, without war, just how it is.

As for me on a more personal level, time continues to change me, little by little by little. It is absolutely clear, that what is female by nature shares over fifty percent of this composition in time, I now live in. That means realistically, I have literally lost complete control over “the male parts and pieces”, and it seems will never get them back. The female spirit inside does whatever she wants, and I must react to it. And that occurs to me is as a woman’s world as well. Instead of an action that the penis represents/ I am limited to strictly a reaction, based upon what she will or won’t do; I have absolutely no say. It is a strange experience. Having succeeded in gaining controlling authority, I now even experience this, as if my mind and body were female: certainly not male responses. While the life inside of me, the identity of male that I am, is simply required to endure whatever comes. Every sensation is still male, unchanged to the life inside of me/ but body and mind don’t act in the same way anymore, not male/ apparently female. Strange. “Dig deep” and what is male in me arises to reveal “a tremendous amount of male left to overcome”/ but it is not in rebellion, or war, or any such thing. Just simply man trying to survive, demanding proof in every aspect of change. But there is also a tremendous amount of female inside now too, even more than male, and she rules. That means simply, I am literally divided into three experiences inside: what is female, what is male, and what is the identity called “me”. I don’t know how this all ends/ but it is clear that being only able to react to a sexual reality or imposition is very different, than being able to act upon it. No control, is an issue for men. As for me, I do live in a reality bordering thought, where wisdom teaches: as an environment changes, it is necessary to adjust without failing to adhere to fundamental truth, respect, hope, and needs. The possibilities here are not about body or mind/ they are about life instead. Elemental existence teaches us all, that life is more than environment. Being human, is more than being either male or female. The destiny of love, is a description declared and defined by fundamental truth, through respect. Eternity is an ingredient conceived of ONLY through respect. If there is respect for the work I do, then there is no relevance attached to whether I am male or female/ no purpose distinguished beyond the understanding of what is necessary to identify peace, harmony, and the treasury of life itself.

That brings the question: what is necessary or important to a man, that he desires control? What is the purpose of a woman, that she was given little control? I would begin with the simple story: that once I was given the opportunity with my exwife to hypnotize her “take control”/ she asked. While we both knew, she was not under any spell, I never wanted to be “in charge”. It was a question: what to do, if she was? I could think of absolutely nothing. Because it is not love to control another human being. So we played for a minute or two, and then gave it up forever. So while I can reference what control means/ I do not practice or experience it, therefore it lacks “perfection”. Discipline says: Men are asked to gain control over themselves, and their world: throughout history this has been necessary/ just as tolerating the pain, and not crying, has been necessary. We live in a world where hate is allowed/ that brings to the life of men armies/ predators/ thieves/ and a wide assortment of varying levels of violence that must be protected against. If you do not control yourself. If you do not control the pain, that can arise within yourself: THEN the battle is lost. Consequent to this, the reality of men is plainly: LEARN how to survive. Those that do, do better/ than those who do not. But this simple survival tool, rises through the use of games, to levels unwarranted by life itself. Control becomes a method to attack the others/ take what men want/ and throw away those they do not. Money is the primary reward of these games/ but sex, or the demand to make the other men jealous by obtaining or controlling women: PROVES another method of describing control over the other men, “I have what you want/ and you cannot do this for yourself.” Therefore what will you give me/ adds the dimension of selling women. The reality, when women give themselves to a want “I want to be rich/ therefore I will accept this one, to gain his wealth” is an example: they then sell themselves to the possibilities of what “buying and selling can do”/ as do men. Never marry for money, love is more precious than even life. Without love in your heart, people fall into hate, because life itself is not enough to survive without an end. Ask yourself, what is better a huge mansion to be lonely in/ or a lover and friend, who believes in your heart and holds your soul as if it were his or her very own life? Answer the question.

My own experience has become out of control, as a male identity, I have recently come to believe what is female has come to stay. The spiritual woman inside controls everything instead, altering some behaviors, some thoughts, some body parts, and even some hopes to an entirely different kind of experience. Not terrible/ just very different, a complete surprise. So the question of merit for women designed for me to answer, becomes: how do women control men, when their own objective as men is taught, and learned “to be in control”? The only avenue is sexual, because with sex the male system of body, changes due to lack of sperm through ejaculation. This leaves him with a weakened physical condition/ with a need to stop everything else and protect his life for a time, while this vulnerability regenerates itself, as more sperm. Exactly why, the level of sperm matters, I do not know. Women on the other hand, seem to be able to endure sex; that may or may not be exactly true, I don’t know. But I can tell you clearly, that men do not like to be out of control, and if you push them until they are, the consequence is “they won’t want to have sex with you anymore”, unless they can learn how to avoid this reality. It is an “undisciplined and vulnerable reality. ” BUT, it takes the removal “by any method”, of all their sperm, in a short period of time, to make this full effect come true. If you are true lovers, having created within yourselves trust, truth, and happiness together, in safety/ then the man will not care (he will just be tired), because no, or more correctly little concern exists regarding an “outside attack”. The lesson here is, Men DO have “an achilles heel”: it is the fact that they can be manipulated by their sperm to feel powerful or vulnerable in direct proportion to the level of their sperm. As has been done to women by rape/ the understanding of men that they can be abused sexually by women grants an entirely new relationship. It is the organization and physical strength of men attacking women throughout history that has kept this simple reality “quiet”. But today women can do the exact same thing, because physical strength in men is not as important as numbers and organization. The reality of women being able to control their own business world, is the final change that opens the door to an equal standing between the sexes.

The element called female, is balance to man and thereby a life completed within a man’s world, requires woman. It can be said, that balance can only exist, if one is the opposite of the other. Thereby we come to recognize that woman is the opposite of man, like the right side is different from the left side/ even though it is the same body. With both right and left as one body, we walk and work and do well/ with only one side, life is harsh. So the consequence of woman is to be the opposite of man, that together both will be completed only, when as one. It is natures way, if you like. Or in another sense, woman (in the mirror) is like the reflection of man, without the need to provide protection. Man (in the mirror) is like the reflection of woman, with a need to be free. The critical question of control, then becomes: how do we protect each other, without the essence of man believing this is necessary for him to do? And how do we allow each other to be free, without the essence of woman believing this is insane, I will be abandoned? There are two fundamental elements to this decision. The first is a complete dependence upon the law; but NOT as it is today. Rather the law MUST BE completely designed and decided upon by the people themselves/ by vote, in simple terms, so that all can understand, so that all know. No judge is exempt from the law/ or bad behaviors! When all can understand, then those who are assigned by employment to protect us, will be watched over well, and all of society will join in keeping the law alive. IF, justice prevails, and equality rules, this will never again be lost. But for a peaceful society living in harmony; hate must be removed! As this becomes apparent to all, hate will zero in on me. Consequently all aspects of the religious prophecy in Revelations 17 will come true/ unless women protect me from primarily men, who try to make you fear (as is constant and common throughout history): by proving what they can do to me/ the provider of an opportunity called change, which simply excludes hate from society. This is now the beginning of reality, whereby an understanding begins, and decisions on all sides will occur.

The second part allowing for women to feel secured in their own bodies, by their own ways, so that life can be brave is: to create an environment where this world lives as LIFE FIRST. NOT money first, as is the way of men. Where life is first, meaning every decision is based upon: IS THIS HONEST AND GOOD FOR SOCIETY, FOR ALL LIFE, AND FOR ALL TO SURVIVE IN PEACE. When this is so, then women will know; if left alone by men, life will still be OK. Women will then come to recognize, if LOVE does not hold you together, it is not a relationship worth having. Where women have successfully organized into a community of single women, where all women are welcomed regardless (but with responsibilities). Then loneliness will not come, even if there are no men in your life. You will be happy, even if not “completely fulfilled.” my own reality seems to have become, as a balance to women “on the other side”. They have traded places with me, in the sense: who has the right to “establish an action, and carry it through”/ I do not, with regard to women. The spiritual woman inside decides, instead of me; just how it is. My own security, is very simply: nothing can truly happen to this body or mind, unless GOD allows it. Therefore what will be, shall be according to what is allowed. I will live as best I can, within the parameters given to me. It is very different.
As for the men who would claim and ridicule, “who among you would truly trade me places”? There is no deviation here/ simply a reality I cannot defeat. An entire world depends upon what women will do, and I am given the job to help them. As control and options to “attack something else ends, left a disaster here”/ men will grow insane, understanding fully, that nothing will ever be the same. They took too much/ gave back almost nothing at all/ and chose to believe in death and fear as their primary tools for controlling society itself: believing in heinous destruction as the means to control the others. Believing in, women were to be their slaves. Believing in money, and devouring common sense as nothing more than truth/ choosing reality based in delusion and fantasy. How pitiful you are.

Today is like the story among religious people that goes: there was once a man on a house in the middle of a major flood. He was standing on his roof of his house with water directly/ praying to god, believing he was about to be saved. A boat came, and he refused to get in “god was going to save him”. A helicopter came, and he refused to get in, “god was going to save him”: or more correctly, these “just weren’t good enough/ he wanted angels”! He dies, goes to heaven in this story, and asks why he was not saved? The answer is, his pride made him drown. The same is true of you, with undeniable evidence the flood waters are rising, and yet you judge me as “unworthy” to bring you this message of change. Others have come as well, showing you through media and others, that what is being done today: will literally end tomorrow. And yet you “stand on the roof” yelling “save me”/ when in fact it is your job as life on this earth to get in the boat, or in the helicopter, even if these are not “angels” and thereby DO WHAT YOU CAN, TO SAVE LIFE. The message is change or die. The messenger, is unimportant. The reality is, time is running out very quickly.
The evidence can be proven in court/ where intentional liars, in a courtroom that is trying desperately to keep this world alive, by truth: shall be hung. Because this is life or death of a world/ and ridicule will not stand. Tremendous environmental realities are changing/ dying/ in jeopardy of breaking chains that further destroy, and more. IT IS time to get off your lazy ass, and work to discover what is important, what will fail, what must be done for life. And whether you will surrender life to hell (a humanity insane, because there is no control, only death coming) and Armageddon (nature in chaos, without balance, discipline, or genetic stability) or not. This is not a game, there are no winners; either we will live because of the choices being made/ or you die, because of the choices you refused to make in truth and respect. Simple as that.

It is now a week or so later, than the writing above, and my life has changed. Turmoil has stopped, even my shoulder is a little better, and my life has become 3 distinct participants. What is clearly and distinctly female/ what is clearly and distinctly male/ and what is the identity called me, a relationship with freedom that has changed to let truth decide rather than being “male or female, it is somewhere in the middle”. Don’t know why. Simple and plain, is just everyday living; survival and simple relationships are neither male or female. What is female, as defined by the spiritual woman inside rules/ what is male returns “when the door is opened”, to visit as an environment dedicated to the fight for this world, without access to physical definitions; that seems to be over/ what is me, simply experiences and expresses either as the situation arises. But even so, I seem to have come to a plateau of sorts; life is more organized and understandable, even if it is more female in some ways. Don’t know if this is “permanent, or not”. The elemental reason for telling you, what is clearly not necessary for you to know: Is with this information, you cannot choose me as leader/ you cannot follow me, because the conflict herein described does not allow you to accept the hypnotic suggestion, that this one can save you, or take you to where you want to go. I cannot. Instead, I have brought you the message: you must change, because this world will no longer survive the impacts of men/ the decisions of men, for society. They have attacked everything, and all the structures, chains, environments, and nature that is absolutely necessary for life on earth to survive; will soon die off, and leave you in hell (men, even life itself, insane) and Armageddon (nature in chaos, undisciplined, mutilated, and dead/ whether breathing or not). A courtroom can be used to establish fundamental truths, so that you can make decisions based within your own abilities to understand. But it is still true, that knowledge brings the possibility of a decision/ understanding establishes the possibilities called change/ but YOU MUST accept wisdom as a participant in your lives to allow truth to make the decision, instead of want. Want is an enemy/ pride is an enemy/ selfishness is an enemy, and so on. Truth establishing the simple reality: We cannot survive without this world, this nature GOD GAVE TO US , this environment. We will not survive, a science that cares nothing about the tragedies it now represents; little if anything they do, is less than death to this planet, its life, and you. We cannot sustain a society in peace by the leadership of men, the people who have brought us to this place, at the edge of complete turmoil for an entire planet; with the university for help, men have attacked not only the entire planet, but other men and women as well. Stealing everything they could steal/ selling the nation, for anything they could get: things called duty, responsibility, honesty, honor, courage, and hope for a life in peace all tossed out with the trash.

If you allow the foolish and blind, to lead you in ridicule of me/ redirecting your attention from the facts that are necessary for you to make decisions for your life, your future, and your world. Then you are not worth my time, and will be abandoned, if excessive. I AM NOT, your decision. I am not the difference between whether you live or die. I am a messenger, allowed, invited, or required to bring this message of : CHANGE OR DIE. To you. If you use your mind, you will understand this truth. If you continue to hide in every conceivable way/ YOU will destroy yourselves, without the possibility to survive. Do not do that, why should you die? Stop being foolish and fearful/ choose for life, for a future, and for a world. “ONLY WE AS HUMANITY” can change the things we as humanity are doing. Are you not free to choose? Indeed you are, or none of this would be reality today. This situation is brought to life, by the decisions of men. This situation of threats, and the edge of turmoil for an entire world, has been chosen by men: because it is what they wanted to do, and did do/ it is the best, they were able to choose, because of pride, power, and want. If women cannot choose better, allowing truth to lead, reality to decide honestly, FOR LIFE FIRST/ not money: then life on earth is over soon. Simple as that.
YOU have a choice, to become aware of your world, and participate in the rebuilding of what will survive, OR to hide, run away in fear, or pretend you need not care. If indeed you do not care, hell will come. If you do not stop your “science” from destroying this planet, Armageddon will come. And neither can be stopped, your life/ your children’s life/ your future/ and this world shall be abandoned; literally, because you did not care enough to remain alive.

A few days later

life is Changing again, even more female/ had to search spiritually for two days to find “male”/ was sitting naked and bound hands and feet in the middle of a city of only naked women; on a main city square, on a bench formed as part of a fountain. Thinking this cannot be good. In other words, I am even more detached from life as a man than before, with no option for change. Strange images too, never before seen, still cannot interpret them. But that said, occasionally I am returned (like the flip of a switch) to “the angry man”/ and recognize without lasting change, I could return to the reality of confrontation and the end result of war (we are going to change this, or someone is going to die). If I do not choose “female”/ then I will return to male, to curse this world, “may it never happen/ I choose to reject the power or force to cause this to be true”. That simply cannot be/ I choose to be “female” instead: I abhor violence/ I despise revenge/ I resolve to remove hatred, not create it [but that does not mean pride, power, selfishness, lust, greed, or the rest go free]; and that means what is female deserves “a try”. Life is too important to squander it on stupidity and foolishness. War solves nothing for long/ only law works for life. The spiritual woman inside is correct, a different way must be found, recognized for value, and developed for truth; even if the entire possibility is so far beyond what has been my life, I can barely comprehend it. The consequence is, I am dividing inside; part of me becoming female, desire it or not/ part of me remaining male, because it is my life. A strange reality in so very many ways. BUT I DO choose female/ because what is male cannot return if this world is to survive. I know not how, but I do know: I choose life for this world/ and will work for that truth. Whatever it is to mean/ There is no value in death: the world of all creation is far too important. End of discussion. Even if the whole concept of female, is beyond everything I have ever been.
Because the words are powerful, you should understand the base elements of what conceives and conforms them to their destiny and purpose. Consequently, the understanding of this part of the message delivered to you, as a need for YOU to change; Aligns with the following description/ but by its own means, has traveled far beyond.

WE MUST CHANGE, or life on earth will die! It is that simple. Consequently the use of words identifies a purpose to establish the necessary education, the constant declaration of LEARN THIS, and the foundations within the law that declare this is OUR RIGHT. But each of these things are guarded by “what is evil” in men/ as they protect “money first” with all their might and purpose; to hell with life/ to Armageddon with nature: THEY CHOOSE MONEY. Therefore to assault this gang of thieves, pervert, failures, fools, criminals, whore’s, and common “don’t give a damn about nothing piss heads”. The reality is a distraction is required so that entry into this fortress of fools, may be gained. That distraction [even though it is real in me, and I simply know how to use it] is: give them, the means to defeat me/ by assaulting me with ridicule; “its their favorite sport”. And so, the battle rages, even though they don’t understand it exists! The critical truth is, “I am not a threat/ BUT THE LAW, that walks with me is”. The reality now exists, that foundations have been laid/ the consequence of rulers has been broken, because the people can understand the means and the ways to use law to achieve happiness through peaceful means. The law, & life can be chosen, instead of money: BECAUSE THE LAW, allows it. I am no predator, no longer “a warrior of any kind”/ instead that is THE LAW. Because LAW “is a wolf/ that can and will run its prey down”. The spiritual woman inside, teaches me this is the way; without her, only tragedy would have come. Even force, would only be enough to make you fear/ not change. You cannot remain the same/ life will change, nature and the sanctity of this world will die; if you do not change. But my life has required distinct changes too/ far beyond anything expected.
My breasts have changed / no longer “an attachment”: but somehow a very distinct part of me, a relationship built upon the honesty “together we will go”. Changing inside too, don’t feel like a boy; with options, to choose from for life. Instead feel as if, life will decide for me, and I must do the best I can with what I am given, or allowed to form. That is different, from being able to choose for myself, as best I can. Far more helpless.

I DO feel I could easily be “at the mercy of women”, helpless; as if I were a young girl in the midst of many women, who can treat me like men can treat a young girl. Just how I feel/ not afraid, just “uncomfortable, with the possibilities”. Somehow feel, like I must have the women with honor, protect me from the women with dishonor. I have been taught, by the spiritual woman inside: to “feel, the general realities” of being woman. But that said, the intensity and reality of actually living as a woman, can only be done within the experience and expression itself/ and I am concerned the spiritual woman inside has that planned next. Life is so strange, didn’t use to be. Was very organized inside, everything in its place/ now, disassembled and cannot put it back together. Changing inside.
Still believe, I could or would be defended somehow against men. But they should understand, if any intensity exists/ that would mean, to hades they will go directly, if confronted by the spiritual woman inside. She is very strong, and completely determined/ not even a tiny atom of variance, completely determined, that I should understand WOMAN completely as well. I don’t know why, but little by little, by little she has been very effective.

There are those who would condemn me “for not being polite enough”. Those who suggest, “he is dangerous, and violent inside”. Neither is true. Instead it is for your benefit that I am aggressively attacking your pride, with the truth of your failures and foolish stupidity, and disgusting want. Life is not a game/ and we do not live without consequences for what has been done. If you fail/ then you die, and this world, its children and their future with you; assassins one and all: because you didn’t care enough. How is it that I should be polite? I was polite/ not any more, time is running out. As to danger, that implies predator, and I am not that. As to violence, I choose the law/ because the law is my weapon against you. Unless you attack me, without restraint/ I will not attack you. Violence is worthless to peace/ unless hate must be removed. I do not make hate, these words merely identify those who have hidden their hate, lust, and greed in government and power. I am not your leader/ but I have opened the gates of the fortress of fools, that is your government held hostage, by its employees/ and their puppeteers. I have brought you as an army against them/ not with bloodshed: but with law and truth, the reality that WE THE PEOPLE, Are the owners here, and we can take control of our nation. They are the employees. It is NOW your turn to respond, or let them finish killing your world: THIS IS A CHOICE, AND YOU WILL MAKE IT. NO SECOND CHANCES: EITHER FOR LIFE, OR IT WILL BE DEATH. THAT IS YOUR JOB, not mine.

As for me, Life is still kind of the same, except man and boy and memories, are fading away. Even thought of my ex-wife for a moment, in an effort to hang onto something “male”. Started to wander, about Revelation 12 (where this started), what some parts mean to me; still don’t know, for sure/ just guessing. But I expect that male child, will be the message created here for you. Am guessing, you will begin to prey and understand life is more than you expect/ more than the delusion, fantasy, and disgraced have led you to believe; and hopefully you will find your heart & soul back. So you do not die. The woman and the desert are probably about me, simply because these words: are a direct attack on all the power, pride, selfishness, and hate that live in this world/ and they will react soon. Therefore if not removed to “hidden from view”/ they will try to kill, torture, or inflict some type of harm; to make you fear using any part or concept within this message. It WILL be bad for you too, if I am surrendered into their hands/ because it means simply “you just didn’t care enough, to even do this little thing”. And you will be lost. I am not your savior, but I can help women change this world. That is a choice you must make, I cannot make it for you. There will be battles, because hate and violence despise peace and hope. But law is a warrior, and if you use it well/ the law will defend you correctly as time creates the opportunity called change.
Do not be afraid/ there is no place to run or hide; THEREFORE YOU HAVE NOTHING TO LOSE! Without this earth, without this nature called genetic disciplines of life, without respect for life, there is no future. Therefore in reality, you have nothing to lose and everything to gain: IF, you truly desire peace, love, happiness, hope, respect, honesty, discipline, and everything called value. This is the trial for life on earth; What you do, or do not do, decides forever.
So says the evidence, the reality of threats that encompass everything from weapons of mass destruction/ terrorists/ starvation & thirst/ extinctions/ and extermination; because fools led you to hell (INSANITY, CAUGHT IN A TRAP, and cannot escape), and Armageddon (NATURE MUTILATED, AND LOST FOREVER). Only a damn fool, would come this far; And you still comprehend nothing, because your false idols of science and stupidity have drilled a hole in your head/ and let sanity, truth, life, and everything worthy escape. FIND IT BACK, or die. Still believe in your religious/ they are no better, searching in garbage for what they can control in you. Simple as that/ whether I live or die personally to help, does not decide. Whether you search for life with RESPECT, TRUTH, LOVE, AND HOPE will.

Let no one say, he does not believe in GOD/ I DO. But that is different than religion, it is truth and the reality of living my faith. Let no one say, he does not believe in education/ the proof of an education is here, and I do not slight its value. Rather I do not believe in lies, liars, fools, failures, the pandemic disease of idiots, stupidity, gross negligence, and all the tragedy you have designed for this world; “Damn pitiful bastard’s”/ is not nearly clear enough. Satan or devil comes closer.

For some strange reason, I know not why; a large percentage of “male” has returned/ in a different way. Woman still in charge, still no say sexually at all. But different, more balanced/ but certainly not the life I have known, just not a constant bombardment of “feeling female inside”. I have, become a strange life in the living. It is somewhere between man or woman/ hard to describe. I do not know your fate, as a nation or a world/ that is your decision; or more correctly that is a decision that women shall make, are making today. But I do know there will be change for you, either for life, WITH LOVE, RESPECT, TRUTH, AND DISCIPLINE/ or for death by HELL AND ARMAGEDDON, and all that hate can do. There are NO second chances/ because you have prepared to destroy this world, its nature, its chains, its food, water, and air supply/ and more: BECAUSE THAT, IS WHAT THE EVIDENCE SAYS. Fail, and you, your children, and all life on earth WILL fail with you.

I do not know, what change will do to me. But what is female inside, is back on the attack. With even new requests, or intent; that are “ more than any man should have to endure”. Somehow I too, must change. Don’t really know why/ but it seems somehow I am tied to your fate; at least as far as change is concerned. If I am not willing to change, “even more” than is asked of other men/ if I don’t prove it is necessary to man and woman, they may say no. Don’t know why, its just an example; nothing more/ why is that necessary? Don’t know how to change either, what is woman just isn’t my reality; although it has become consistent in my mind, & the body reacts “like a female”, when it is not “feeling male”; and my truth has been altered to understand far more about woman, than I ever could have imagined. Although it is now, the spiritual dimension of my life. I still cannot grasp or simply accept, that I will live the life of female. What is male is not female, therefore if a balance point does not come, even if it is largely expressed in female; this cannot be done, without death A strange existence, even for a man who has always been an extremist, where life and love is concerned. I am doing the best I can/ but in the end, what is required is for the man in me to die; so what is female can begin/ or they have to live together somehow. I am concerned, it is the wrong body for female/ having a penis would not aid her, and she cannot survive a world of men, as life is today. I am not even so sure, in a world of women. The woman inside seems dedicated, is dedicated only to female. Seems wrong, to try what cannot be changed or undone/ life and love are too important, to play with. The woman inside is strong, but I owe a measure of protection for the one who would replace me. There are, hard choices to make, but in the end the spiritual woman inside HAS been correct. And life on earth needs “woman: NO more confrontation or war, negotiations and life instead”/ rather than man. Woman is equal to man in every way. Life on earth is not even a question, if change is worth that price. That line, which divides man and woman however, seems wrong to cross. Yet necessary. I do not know the answer here; and will simply live on the faith: what will be chosen, intends to HONOR GOD. Through my respect for HIM. Therefore my answer, may or may not be correct, but my purpose and desire shall be true.
OR, is the evidence of apathy/ or hate/ or arrogance/ or whatever it shall be: Just more evidence, or why you will be abandoned/ life surrendered on this planet, because you are so proud. The reality of one small demand sent as a message “From GOD” (BECAUSE, the evidence says you are dying, as a world)/ the truth says, it is so. Is just too much for you to give “a tiny bit of your time and effort, to help this world survive”.

On a completely unrelated matter, I have spent the day concerned about a lovely young woman, at least 20 years younger than me: who “offered possibilities” that seem extremely unlikely do to the simple fact, I am old/ 55, nearly toothless/ not well kempt/ don’t look rich; etc. Consequently I have to ask, if there was real need in her, for companionship, for anyone to pay attention for love or at least sex; and I did not respond. Can’t hardly grasp “I would do”. The issue is, what is need that we struggle hard at times within ourselves, when life seems too mundane or hard to go on? There are times in very many lives, when someone willing to touch and spend time with you is necessary. But between man and woman, these are corrupted with endless, useless social and religious tragedies of many variations/ and the consequence is: instead of helping each other as we can. People walk away. Sex is usually not the answer, time, honesty, caring, and sharing is. Of the various reasons that are always present: some women just want to test “their sale-ability, or drama lessons” and if yes, then they are happy to walk away or growl/ some women need far more than can honestly be given, for a man unprepared at this time for marriage; to help means, they will not search for another, expecting more from you, and all ends with tears/ some women are so conflicted with social and religious concerns, that anything sexual, even if needed, turns to massive conflict for them (we were built sexual mates for each other, there is no shame, where honor and truth come first)/ Some women are far too subtle, wherein only a few men learn these messages, and they then manipulate, because the others know not what the women are doing, and women get more lonely; you do need to be more direct, for your own sake/ some women just want to have fun, or pretend this does not have consequences/ some women are free, but need to realize, many men are foolish about sex, and women need to teach them better; but some become abusive, instead of honorable/ some women want to get pregnant, and use a man/ some will have a disease, that then can be passed on to you; as is true of men as well. There are more.
As to men, the most common response is “just for sex, even if they think its about a woman/ it still comes down to sex, and the measurements that pick and divide at living human beings.

The question of my own heart, is very simple; if a real need existed I would not wish to walk away; loneliness can be devastating at times. But the consequence of my own life is, “I have breasts (certainly not, a plus, or a welcome surprise as far as male physique goes), I am not in charge sexually, the spiritual woman inside is/ which means I know not what can or will be given or not; and I am working in critical matters than can get people killed/ because there are millions who desire nothing of what I choose to demand for life, love, or peace/or even an education in survival (hate, can be cruel). Given these things and more, surely no possibility exists to help. Yet I am concerned for her, life can be harsh, even if it is only “being/ feeling left out”. Hope is a tremendously important reality, it leads to happiness/ whereas the loss of hope, leads to hate. But surely, my own value to someone who does not know me; cannot be much “just not pretty enough for that”. Even so, there are many women who do not recognize just how lovely they are, even if men are not constantly on their doorstep. Most men by far, do not know how to approach you/ believe you are distant and unavailable to them, because a woman wanted nothing to do with them in the past, made them a target or ridicule/ or have been verbally beaten, by women of their past. And they believe “why get that again”. So men and women pass each other by, each lonely, each in need/ but afraid to talk or try. The internet is helping some, but more is necessary. We need businesses run by women to help men understand how to act with women/ we need businesses run by honest men to help women understand, how to make men feel safe around women too. We need society and religion to stop being insane, and recognize with honesty, the value we do represent for each other: NOT continued simple excuses, for power and control. We need people to find discipline, where sexuality exists/ because rampant sexuality ruins lives. We all need hope/ we all need sex as adults, to understand the reality of a balanced life/ we all need love, because without love there is no value in simple sexual acts.

I am caught in a maze kind of, with variables that exist which are too dangerous to be wrong: but am honestly changing from strictly cannot/ to consequences exist, when life feels unsupported. Tears, that make you cry, instead of let you cry, are harsh. Don’t know the correct answer for this, every life not consumed by hate, is important; even if every life cannot be “everything lovely it could be, as happy as life should be”. Have become too isolated, to know many people and “fix them up”. Am wishing for happiness for all, but understanding that propaganda and failure through media/ corruption and the disease of pride, power, selfishness, lust, hate, etc has infiltrated every aspect of human behavior and purpose; to create insanity in sex. We need to find honor, we need to be honest, we need to listen to heart and soul, we need to share love and hope; thereby bringing happiness as best we can.
We need a new language for women, whereby if she uses a set of words three times in a few moments; it is a clear suggestion to men, that she is thinking of sex, and inviting the man to have a conversation about that with her. Something simple, whereby neither side is lost, or feels intimidated, or “a loser”. It could be the words “rain and snow”; they are benign, simply about weather, which we all talk about/ but used in a sentence, three times in a row (it gives you a chance to gauge the response): WOULD indicate a “suggestion”. A proper response might be “would you like to go out to dinner, and talk”, love and life are not little things, time is important. But do let it be entirely for women, whatever you choose/ men can learn to respond, instead of invite; it will be better for both.

Men granted an opportunity for sex, either respond simply for sex, “a toy for me”; which is selfishness. OR they understand that caring is sharing, and it is possible to help this person with a little love. Doesn’t get much more complicated/ unless the possibilities of getting pregnant/ paying child support, for the next twenty years/ or even the potential of disease interferes. There are NO “feelings, related to marriage” with regard to sexual decisions. These come only with time, work, and love in men.
“My new feelings, that include female”; are NOT the same. Instead of “issues of sex”, my reality is an acceptance of feelings that state, I need to help this woman, I desire to honor her life with shared expressions that include happiness for her. Instead of sexuality and what that means to me, I am concerned for her and feel a need to support her in a positive way. Instead of wondering as a man might for an hour, if this was the right decision for love/ I am still wondering, even worried days later if that was the wrong decision. And if love would not have done better/ knowing love could have done better; it is hard to accept, at least theoretically, I could have easily provided something she needed, and did not. Even “my breasts” feel like they need to do something, I know not what. But there are issues with pregnancy, disease, time as is necessary to provide true healing, and then the tears if living requires it is time to move on: NOT because there is not love, but because life is more complex than want. Even so, from strictly disciplinarian (CANNOT endanger the others)/ I can feel change coming; in a world with so much need: hope, touch, honesty, love, and life are more important than discipline. My work is nearly done, therefore the danger is nearly over, if it does not explode. Life needs a friend, all life/ even this planet needs love. The consequence of that is, sharing understands: surely “I can express, if not for me, then for woman”.
I hope & pray, for the best.

My own identity IS caught, in a maze between male and female. I have lost, what is “right or wrong” in this matter. I simply do not know. Love decides, as best I can. The question is not sexual/ the reality is need. The consequence is love, hope, life, acceptance, and reality must come first. My own sexual existence is lost, to the elements assigned by the spiritual woman inside. My own experience is confronted with female almost constantly, even to the point of : the female growing inside, desires “underwear”. I have said no, absolutely not/ but then negotiated “only, if these breasts were to grow substantially; meaning twice their current size ”. Today, I wake up with breasts that look and feel bigger, a tiny shock. And yes I am aware people can and do and will read this, on an internet from which it can never be erased. But that part is irrelevant, as I care nothing about what you “believe of me”. The spirit of woman inside demands this too shall be told/ why I do not know. Not me/ her. As is clear at this point, the opportunities for extending this message to you or your need for change/ is no longer supported by such stories as this. Life however, has put the spiritual woman inside, “establishing, in charge”, I am learning that fact.

I am telling you, I don’t believe this supports the message/ however for the same purposes within which this story has begun, the spiritual woman inside does; that too, has expanded slightly beyond anything and everything I could have expected. But still with the same intent, not to save this world, but to inform it, educate it, and establish a decision in humanity. The intent and purpose of this writing is to invade your world, with the message: YOU MUST CHANGE/ OR WILL DIE. For that purpose, the use of gossip and conversation, the allowance of ridicule and endless possibilities in talk, disrespect, and more all revolve around the unexpected; as a consequence, there is certainly nothing in my life, as unexpected as is the female inside. Thereby the expansion of the message, includes the possibilities of conversation, that grow with the influence of change in me. That change is completely unexpected, as no doubt the demand for change is unexpected by you as well. As it is with you, this change is not your choice, but a demand: live or die. My change, is both my choice, for life on earth & is my reality: change for real, there is no middle ground. But still not my decision, beyond whatever GOD will allow.
The use or allowance of “its all free/ with regard to this writing/ these sites provided to you” is also the gain of people who will claim it for themselves/ thereby spreading the message, even if corrupted. The use of inventions, are conversational, and with a secondary purpose in advertizing: so that preparations are made “to assist women, if there is money to be made. And so on.

What is not so clear, is the truth: that discipline does not allow me as a man to continue allowing this destruction of all GOD’S CREATION by you . I CANNOT stand it anymore, and that means an action will be taken. BUT THE SPIRITUAL WOMAN INSIDE, CAME and disrupted that intent {this starts in www.complexdestiny.info if you search}/ claiming me instead, changing me to the consequence or possibility of female as time begins to prove. I do not know how! Because what is male, brings confrontation, that brings fear, and fear brings war/ and war will end this Creation. Therefore the man was wrong/ and had to change his ways. The woman inside inherits the opportunity to decide, how best to influence this world, and the right to insist on “things I don’t understand”. This has become, a strange journey, beyond all expectation. Significant change already exists: I do not know how it ends, for you, or for me. CHOOSE LIFE FIRST. Why should you die! If you cannot perceive the evidence already provided, THEN Prove it in court, by the investigation and work that is indeed necessary: GO TO COURT,
and find your answers in the law.

As a man, there is nothing in me that desires to be female. I have not yet reached, the point assigned by female, wherein it is her decision to be completely alive, and decide. What is male is not female/ what is female is not male, there is a distinct difference; which means I am divided inside, and live as an identity searching for the truth and reality in both male and female; for what will be. There are lessons, of value/ but you cannot imagine the kind of change, surprise, or challenge this is. “Not me” is a true understatement/ but that is NOT “the important part”.
As a Creation of life, by GOD’S OWN DESIGN : There is LOVE THAT DEMANDS, For the sake of life on earth, NOTHING is too much to ask. Of me, by my CREATOR. I DO, accept that as my truth/ and will never change this. Not for any cause or price.

This is not “to save you”/ this is MY RESPECT, for the life I have been given, the time I have known; for all life on earth: it is only fair, I return what I can. Life, is the gift to me! Issues of male or female are as nothing when compared. That is the simple truth, but the actual reality is far less simple. Just how it is, not a complaint/ DIFFERENT and strange. Not “awful”/ just different added to “it’s the wrong body and mind/ at least partly”. Any way, you have your change to deal with/ and I have mine.

I DO, pray for you/ pray for me as well.


 life, a personal journey

I am NOT your leader!  I have my own list of troubles.

Normal is gone; Instead my reality has changed so significantly, life altered so severely; that I honestly feel more girl than boy. And I understand what that means, to some extent.   Not a single hair “to perversion”/ BUT I absolutely feel like I have lost to the spiritual woman who was inside. Just plain defeated as a man/ owned by this spiritual woman.   She is now “outside, but near”;  and it feels distinctly like I have been given to women.  Life  feels distinctly like they are more powerful than me/ over me, and I can’t stop it.   That is this moment in time, and I cannot shake it/ what is male, is fundamentally missing; I can’t find it back. I know its still here somewhere (I can feel that too), but beyond my control.  I HAVE LOST, my connection or grip; to male! Something is missing.  I cannot simply choose it, or be it, without her permission.  You just can’t imagine.

Life is a strange reality, although many of the female aspects are no longer strange, but understood.  I do feel a strange compulsion to talk about this/ but don’t know why. Not sure if it’s the woman that was inside, or this new compulsion  demanding to write; but it doesn’t matter anymore.  Life is changed. Not a clue, what comes next/ I AM NOT a woman/ never been a woman/ never hoped to be a woman/ and certainly not a clue why me.  Don’t understand it.  A really strange reality.  My ass is doing something to me again/ breasts are doing something too; they have ceased to be mine/ I have ceased to care, not a thing I can do about it. Strength largely gone/ shoulder a wreck/ smaller than I used to be: It’s a strange/ different life, I don’t know why. It just is.
Even my hopes for the future have been changed.  As a man simply, the desire or intent was to stop the massacre of life on earth.  My new hope is to build a new life for the earth, not with strength or courage, but with education a fundamental need to create knowledge, and the elemental discovery of what love, respect, and honor can bring.  It is a better view, but the price is high. Nonetheless worth its cost.  NOT your savior/ just working for life on earth, nothing more complex than that. Do you not do the same thing/ if not, then WHY NOT?  Life is important, and time is running out.

Some will question:   why talk about it? At this point in time, what difference can it make.  Opinions will be formed/ the consequences to my life are already in play, and cannot be turned back.  Why should I then care?  Whatever will be, will be/ even through all the change, opening the spiritual door of female is still the best and worst thing I ever did.  Best because that fact led to the message you have received in this day: that humanity on earth must change, or the consequences will be death/ an end to life on earth.  “worst”, is the resultant loss of male/ whatever that means; or however it turns out, it is still the price required of me;   to build the message you see today.  My intent as male/ WAS VERY different/ and would have failed miserably {in the envelope called time, I suddenly am guessing that, is why me}.  Consequently female has been a blessing.  So, even the worst/ was really just a change, that I must now deal with as best I can.  Not so bad really, its just different; but still absolutely different from anything my life expected.  You just can’t imagine/ I can’t imagine, just have to live it. I absolutely don’t know how, at this moment in time. It is a strange relationship, honest.  I have changed from fighting for life/ to living for life.  From believing that men must be made to recognize how badly they are doing/ to the understanding, life is not about men, it is about life on earth.  The difference is, life is the important part/ not men.
In the simple truth, of a life lived; the reality is, “if not for the critical and absolutely fundamental demand, that life on earth is in jeopardy of dying/ an entire world.  My existence, my experience and expression would be different”.  That is not a lament, what greater work could exist/ for you too.  I am grateful for the work, grateful for the experience with “the spiritual woman inside”/ because she made the message you received possible.  It was not in me/ she made it possible, by changing what needed to be changed, for the sake of life on earth.  Just that simple.  Today, my future is blank to me; don’t know what it will be; beyond my comprehension at this moment in time.  But honestly and honorably grateful, the message you received, and the understanding required to know it does have value to you:   is both my gift and “the spiritual woman’s gift”: to your life here on earth.  A message is just a message, what you do with that message determines the future/ decides your own eternity/ and defends or rejects everything life here is.  It is your choice, not mine.    I have literally completed this work/ it is done.

As to court and things associated with reality; what will be, will be.  As to women, they speak and choose for themselves; it is not my decision/ they must act, they must choose, and they must live the consequences of their own decisions.  I can help, but that is all.  Life, must be worth the price set before you/ or you die.  It is as simple as that.  YOU DO, have everything you need, to help this earth survive.  Including the words, understanding of law and rights, under the ownership of we the people; to pursue and complete the trial set at the US supreme court.  Whether they allow it or not/ YOU are the owners, and YOU will ultimately decide that case, and their fate. It is that simple.

I do, pray for you all.

As for me, I have worked so long at this, it is hard to conceive of a different life:    even without “change”.  Regardless, life or death is in your hands now, I have done my part.  This is not a “one person war/ effort/ education/ or decision”; if you do not participate well, there will be no life on earth.         Make your decision.  

     That is simply true/ too late, is too late. It’s a choice.



Just a short reprieve for me; the work does not end, until life is assured.  “A little wishful thinking”, all life comes first.

A final statement:   this is not a game either. The reality is, the first part of Revelation 12 has come true.  Regardless of that, all things regarding sexuality are between “women and me/ or the spiritual woman and women of earth/ or something like that, I really don’t know.”   I do know however/ and you are warned again: there is no place, no time, and no reason allowed, for an attack by male. Not from me against women, not from any man against me sexually; YOU WILL be cursed eternally if you try.  Do not do so, the tragedy is immeasurable.  So says the spiritual woman who lived inside/ & she has given opportunity for life on earth to survive.
GOD will decide, but the message of change now through education is hers.  I am taught by   JESUS,   therefore the learning is HIS.    Believe it or not.

I am, experiencing new things today

The spiritual woman “on the outside, but very near/ has left me different on the inside”.  Hard to explain, but now I do believe I need her/ and do not desire that she leaves.  Inside, I feel as if I am missing something/ or more correctly something is needed that I don’t have.  Never felt like that as male/ always felt sufficient.  Its not bad, not really lonely, just missing something/ don’t know what.  Don’t know why; the spiritual woman is now beside me, instead of inside me. It is a question I cannot answer.
There are issues with parts and pieces that don’t belong/ but I really don’t want to discuss it.  There are oddities in mental pathways, that needed cleaning; don’t know why. It is a strange life.  My breasts are plainly growing, just how it is/ a reality completely different than male (those parts and pieces are already attached, and just switch on, or off):   these are an everyday experience, without any control, they just do whatever they desire to do. At times sensitive, at times not, I never know what, when, or why. The effect as male “no elemental feelings, on or off”/ whereas the effects of female are “feelings are all I get”.  Add to that, I look in the mirror, and get to be the ugliest girl who ever lived.  But, it is not my choice, to be beautiful/ it is my choice: to understand there are no answers for this world in men, and that leaves only women.  To find answers it is woman who must be perceived, and understood with as much respect as possible: because this is the price applied to me, for that request.  I don’t know why. 

 Life is not free.  Life is a responsibility, when you are “all grown up”.

Last Updated ( Thursday, 30 April 2009 )
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