The Changing Of Me Print E-mail
Tuesday, 30 June 2009

Not a particularly interesting topic, as it affects only me/ but somehow inside, I do simply feel compelled to write it. I don’t know why. Since it bears no real interest to the purpose of the message which is to demand “YOU MUST recognize, life on earth is severely threatened”.  Since this has no real purpose to me, other than to respect the wishes of the spirit whom I live with. This then is simply a plain writing, without frills or intent, just a conversation between me, and you; for the sake of clarity.
To encounter the spirit world, you must enter within its truth/ by doing so, the consequence is: whatever is true in you shall be tested. Whatever is not true of you, shall be thrown out, or multiplied. So the question in truth to me is: what does woman mean to me?  Not a question of simple physiology, but a reality expressed by the essence of life called female.

My answer begins, with the cause I opened the door to female spirituality: a reading of Revelation 12/ while searching for the answer, “is this really (all the threats against us) the end of life scenario predicted for this earth”?  That entire experience is written in ; there is no point to rewriting.  Regardless, the essence of female is a different question entirely; as that writing is essentially the essence of male. Today, I have changed; I know this is true, because the question is, “the essence of female, not male”/ what is male has been “left behind”.  Not so much a decision but a reality created by a female spirit that invaded me. The physical presence of breasts, and the chemicals they produce of woman. NOT a perversion/ as what is man is irrelevant; but a truth that I seem to have become in its most simple sense; “a woman, to women”. Not the description of woman/ but a wife (by the terms of many men, over women) to women.  I have become defeated by the chemicals and spiritual influence of woman, consequently  owned by women; and cannot resist. What is male now understands there is literally no escape, and a new life must be created/ or all life must be abandoned; it is that simple. As a consequence, a tiny bit more of the life called woman enters every day. It is not a choice beyond these terms, it is my life.  Not a game, or an excuse; it is the life I live. But I do not know how to build a female life/ nor do I understand if somehow this is to be a new life with male and female joined forever.  Neither is this an identity crisis, a mental consequence, or a religious whatever. This is a reality conceived within the spiritual truth, of a  relationship born within the elemental truth, of life on earth dying; by the hands of men. There are no other options, for life.
As to essence of female, these are realities I have only begun to consider; consequences I simply cannot conceive of by  any expressive truth.  But the breasts are absolutely female, as reality has become “I no longer touch them, but feel them when touched, from the inside”; and they are powerful influences. The elemental    Question has become:   can I be female, live that life if it should so be?  The answer, life says, is yes; the reality I find in “gentle kindness, the possibilities of love inside” are enough. The honesty of “helplessness” against the possibilities of what women can do to me, a worry;   but there is nothing I can do. Spiritual woman owns all; what is male has lost as a single identity, he does not live here anymore.

 I do believe I will be defended against men/ but if abandoned to them, it is for torture and the evidence of what all life will receive, as you descend into hell. A witness against you; not two men, but a woman and man together truly joined as one.
But women are given “free reigns over me/ I can feel it strongly”; somehow I have become more woman than man; but still not equal to women: an extreme oddity. A relationship with women that is neither woman or man/ but both.  It is not a temptation, I feel very vulnerable to women/ I feel distinctly, like I simply cannot defend myself against any real attempt to control or use or abuse this body by women. The spiritual woman proves it to me, not a choice/ not a right/ not a chance, without her; endure.  Just how it is, I cannot change it; this is now my life. Even the memories of being male, are all disappearing. “It was a good life, with benefits”; but is gone. Not coming back unless the spiritual woman returns it (she fought hard continually, for every tiny piece)/ she is in control of everything in me, and surrendering that control,  is not going to happen; I can feel that too.  I don’t know why.
I do not know, why you need to know this; perhaps its about pride, and the possibilities of believing too much in the message given to me for you. Perhaps “nearly toothless”; limits those who can pretend to be me. I simply do not know.

A strange thing happened:   part of the work I do is cleaning out apartments for the next tenant; a year’s worth of playboy magazines was left behind/ since it has been a long time; I took them home and looked a little bit.  Not with lust/ not to covet or worship or whatever: but in the honesty of a hope “someday, I expected to return to a normal life; with female companionship”. A lovely female body, is a blessing/ a life to share living with an opportunity in love. But It is not to be for me, life has honestly changed;  and I threw them in the fire.  Other fires were created on top of them over a week/ but the magazines did not burn, only the top one.  So I got them back out, leaving only one slightly singed and went back a couple hours after lighting another fire on top of it/ but it did not burn either, just a couple of pages.  So I took it back out, opened the pages in all of them to women, and asked “what is this, I should learn”?  My life says: these are the creations of   GOD given to both man and woman as the body of female, disciplined; therefore respected, or at least potentially respected for the true gift it is;  and hopeful to both.  What is male was asked: and agreed a treasury that is perfectly balanced and proportioned, a truly wonderful design made especially for human life; BUT IN GREAT DANGER of being mutilated beyond recognition. Because men are playing with nature, mutilating it/ crucifying it/ intentionally disrespecting it/ and deliberately trying to make the genetic disciplines which give us life “fall apart and die”.  I honestly cannot describe how sad this makes me feel/ stop them, or everything life fails. Can you not grasp anything? Do you not understand how delicately your eyelashes have been made for you/ the balance of both sides the same/ placement of every part and piece; everything?  Is this nothing? It is no toy, and no one will play god;   only destroyer.

 Even so, as I looked at the pictures, the question became: “am I part of these/ or a part of men”? The answer is, “more like these now”. The reality, not the same however/ the consequence for that, alone in the simple sense; there are so many and I am only this one/ neither part nor separated but different. It has become,  “ a strange life”. I have no clue, what the future honestly holds for me. It could be “so many things”/ it is impossible to predict.

I feel “like a woman”/ said because this is not what a man feels like, NOT what I use to feel like (I can’t describe that  anymore/ but I do know, THIS IS different, yet oddly similar in some ways);  this is, the vast majority of the time today. Not a choice, it is my reality.  I do recognize; once released on the internet especially “there is no going back”/ these words will exist, and my life will not be able to escape them. I do recognize ridicule and all the rest will come.  But it is not my concern: either we stop destroying life on earth/ or all will die, and soon.  It is that simple, and this is written in respect for the spiritual woman who made this writing possible for you; who is a distinct part of my life.  I had gained the education necessary for the writing as male/ but lost my way, having abandoned men; because there is no possibility they can lead life to survival anymore. The spiritual woman made the possibility of women leading life on earth, “real/ and in fact did take control”. I now help her, “it is a spiritual truth, you will not understand”; a reality based in the certainty that confrontation will end life. The truth, an education in HONOR, RESPECT, TRUTH, LOVE, AND DISCIPLINE is all we have;   to increase the potential and possibilities of thought.  Hoping people will find their heart and soul/ before it is too late to survive.  Working for the simple truth, that you must learn beyond want, selfishness, pride, or hate.  The evidence is clear, our future is dead without change/ but people continue to say “not my concern/ not my problem, let another/ don’t care enough”.  You will/ just like your economic trouble, was entirely predictable for the last twenty years;   so is the end of life, because men made the decisions, and the university built the lies, the tools of death, and the media sold it for the “money”. Shame on you. Your fantasy soon ends, the time of delusion and failure will crash: only reality will be left. 

Never forget, YOU ARE loved / regardless of what economies or time might take away or deliver.   
Always, believe in love/ it is like a fountain of water that never runs dry. A happiness that will remain forever.


The following is a letter sent to two women, but not a peep/ not the slightest indication has been heard in reply;   so the question of whether it is acceptable to write this, and present it “to the masses” returns to me.  The critical question is: do those who feel a need and desire for larger breasts outweigh those who have larger breasts and could be impacted because of it. “a seven percent increase is of little consequence, to a tiny breast/ but it does make a big difference to large ones”. I do simply hope, “this is the right decision for women”. I do truly hope, the possibilities for harm are vastly overruled by happiness.

      a statement has been “heard in passing”, that there are health problems associated with breast implants; that might be dangerous to you.  Your mom, I understand is very susceptible to  problems with the components associated with a hip joint/  that may mean you are susceptible to “foreign materials as well”.  I don’t wish to be wrong/ enough medical problems; so its  important to confront whatever is needed as it comes up. Consequently, just in case you are interested, I am sending this letter to you/ do with it as you wish.

The reality is;   that in my past I have been able to enlarge the breasts of women.  It is a simple process/ and it occurs to me, that any woman who paid the price of physically making breasts bigger would “be very sad, if that needed to be reversed”.  Not saying it is, just wondering if this is important to you. 
Consequently I write very simply to tell you the method used, if I remember it correctly:    Have not done so for 25 years or more.  You can however ask............................ telling her about 25 years ago that her breast had suddenly enlarged.  “In a moment of stupidity, the opportunity staring at me”; I made the bad error in judgment to experiment, and see if this worked on very large breasts, and/or women close to 50 years old.  It did/ but only then,  did I think to remember she has to live with that now.” never did any more.  I would caution you simply to remember men would receive the option to “make breasts bigger, at their whim:   are not necessarily always going to make the right choice”. Except for ......, the intent was always for happiness for the woman/ but, failing that I learned “its their body not mine, and I have no right”.  Men may tell other men, who then do what they want as well.  Anyway, ...... had a strong reaction to that news, and I am certain she remembers it: I don’t know why.

Regardless the method employed is as follows: if you look closely at the nipple it is surrounded by two distinct rings of bumps.  These bumps are sensory organs that identify what is happening at the nipple.  “In a perfectly designed mammary gland; the nipple knows what the baby needs, and changes to accommodate the baby”.  Therefore experimentation revealed 3 steps are needed.  First a few moments to “pleasantly arouse” & to harden the breast and make it more sensitive/ second it is necessary to massage the two rings of bumps in the place where you wish the nipple to go; “on the top and toward the center; turns the nipple up and to the middle”.  You have to massage only the rings on one side of center, consequently I used to simply place the lower teeth on the center part to hold it in place and use the top teeth for the gentle purpose.  In a few minutes if the woman is completely relaxed and enjoying the experience, the actual nipple “center part” will extend.  They extend in proportion to the size of the mammary gland or breast.  Big ones extend over an inch beyond normal.  With one quick & hard suction pull, when extended; the nipple is set into place although it will retract.  In a simple recognition of the reality, this says to the nature of a female body; “the baby cannot grasp the nipple center/ nature then extends it/ and a quick suction pull suggests the baby is hungry, therefore a position change for the breast is necessary”. The breast enlarges, because it is basically the only way to reposition.  Usually the next day something is heard about “my breast grew, a happy thing”.  It will be about 5 to 10% bigger than previously.  They are individual breasts, so each has to be done one at a time.  I leave it to you, if you wish to tell the world, find another woman, or tell your husbands. I have told no one else, simply because I do not wish to be responsible for what could be a blessing or a curse to women.  I do feel strongly “it’s a woman’s decision/ not a man’s”.  If you consider this a good thing for public knowledge, tell me, and I will post it on my web sight.  There is happiness in it/ but the complication is, men are men.

If you wish, I can try to do this for you/ BUT I used to use my teeth for that;   and the top teeth are missing, and the rest are  a mess/ so I cannot honestly say it will still work for me without hurting you with the teeth left: “it is a very gentle massage, like a baby; takes only a few minutes”/ but these teeth are a little sharp where they should not be. And simply put, my teeth are changed, so the method would have to be changed a bit by me; I don’t know for sure how it would turn out. Babies do this without teeth; so I do suspect it can be done. Not a suggestion, simply a statement to say, if necessary or important to you, perhaps I can help. I DON’T know whether having had implants this would work?  Don’t know what was damaged or not/ don’t know how it interplays with nature.
 “I overheard a woman complain her nursing baby was making her breasts bigger”/ so I figured if he could do so, then so could I. At the time my girlfriend............... clearly wanted bigger breasts; so I tried,  and it worked very well.”
I am NOT “trying to get in your clothes”.  Oddly enough, I now have breasts myself; “perhaps a little payback/ regardless life is different for me now”.  They have other consequences to me as well/ but I am dealing with it, as best I can.  I wish you well. 
Just a statement with regard to medical issues/ health realities and the fundamental truth that “ female breasts are important to both men and women”.  I do hope no medical issues are present, or already resolved.       Have to repeat, its been over 25 years, not going to discuss the past/ but “the tools have changed”, can’t be sure it will still work for me; and my memories are all screwed up as well/ but this memory is pretty clear, and I am sure its correct, or nearly correct.
Wish you well.

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